A Trip to the Yanukovych House (a.k.a. Disneyland Ukraine)

The Yanukovych house is a work of art.

Unfortunately the work of art that is the Yanukovych house symbolizes nothing but greed, corruption, and a disturbing selfishness than surpasses many of the world’s greatest narcissists (yours truly included, of course).

The former home of the former Ukrianian president Viktor Yanukovych, the Yanukovych house was where Viktor made his residence during his presidency.

During that presidency, it seems he didn’t do a whole lot, except spend taxpayers money and kiss the ass of Vladimir Putin. And this is coming without bias — I’m someone who supports Donald Trump and he has Putin’s support — so I don’t mind Putin much.

While in Kiev, I managed to get out to see the Yanukovych house (or as I dubbed it, ‘Disneyland of Ukraine’) and take in the sights.

Keep reading to see the pictures and a price breakdown at the end.

GETTING TO THE YANUKOVYCH HOUSE

Should be noted, it’s a pain to get there. I had my Ukrianian girlfriend call and figure out what the hell to do. Long story short, you can take the metro to the farthest stop on the blue line, and then take a car.

If you manage to find the bus station, there are cars there that will take you to the Yanukovych house for 50 UAH per person (that’s $2 USD, exact — as of June 2016).

You can also take a taxi from the Kiev city center, which would probably run you about $20 total. It’s roughly an hours drive. There’s probably some bus too — but don’t ask me about that 😉

The metro is a fun experience if you can find where the cars are! Just look for the big signs signifying that they go to the house.

For those of you who want to take the metro to the Yanukovych house, take the blue line (also known as ‘M2’) to Heroiv Dnipra (Herov Днепра). For those of you going from the center, that’s the Maidan metro station you’ll want to get on at (transfers from the red line, or M1).

YANUKOVYCH HOUSE

Blue line going to the Yanukovych house

When you get out of the metro station, you’ll see…well, this. Not much of a reference point, I know.

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The car ride from the metro to the Yanukovych house is roughly 20 minutes.

Yanukovych house

Yanukovych house car ride

YANUKOVYCH HOUSE — FIRST IMPRESSION

I really, truly felt like I was walking into Disneyland. There’s cotton candy and soda pop carts when you first pass the gate. I kept expecting Mickey Mouse to pop out of nowhere.

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Yanukovych house

Exterior shot walking up

Yanukovych house courtyard

Courtyard of the Yanukovych house

Yanukovych house exterior

You’ll probably see all sorts of wedding photo shoots going on, too…

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BEST ADVICE FOR THE YANUKOVYCH HOUSE

***RENT SOME BIKES!***

The pictures do not do the Yanukovych house justice — it’s so much more than a house. It’s a giant estate including a zoo, 15 kilometers of bike paths, a golf course, and more. It’s just not possible to walk it all — well you can, but it’s very time consuming.

highly recommend renting some bikes to tour the Yanukovych house and estate.

I paid $12 for two bikes for roughly two and a half hours, give or take.

Yanukovych house bike rental

THE YANUKOVYCH HOUSE AND ESTATE

Yanukovych house river

The view along the river

Yanukovych house boat

Yes, he has a God damn pirate ship. Greedy bastard.

Yanukovych house boat

Yanukovych house

Another river and shop

Yanukovych house

Yanukovych house gardens

Yanukovych house

The zoo. Yeah…

Yanukovych house view

Other views from the house

PRETTY INCREDIBLE, ISN’T IT?

The whole place is so spectacular, but disgusting. Then when you look at other things in Ukraine, like Chernobyl…you just shake your head.

How did it come to this?

I doubt the whole story will ever be publicly revealed.

Anyways, let’s break down the prices for the day.

All prices are listed per person, then the total (since I took my Ukrianian girlfriend).

METRO RIDE (ROUND TRIP): 8 UAH per person (32 cents USD) — yeah, the metro is really cheap. = .64 USD total (and she paid for it ;))

CAR TRANSFER FROM THE METRO (ROUND TRIP): 100 UAH per person ($4 USD) = $8

TICKETS TO GET IN TO THE ESTATE: 50 UAH per person ($4 USD) = $8

2X BIKES FOR 2.5 HOURS: 150 UAH per bike ($6 USD) = $12

2 ICE CREAMS: 75 UAH ($3 USD) = $3

TOTAL COST: $31

Might as well have been free for a entire day of fun and adventure (we left the Maidan (center) metro station at roughly 11am and got back around 6pm).

However, unlike a Chernobyl tour, it’s something you can leave whenever you want. At least a couple of those hours were spent laying on the golf course in the bean bags that are provided.

Overall, the Yanukovych house is a great experience. If you’re in Kiev — don’t miss it!